HELP!!! Im in love with my cousin.. now that she knows she keeps me at arms length.. n im planning my suicide?

Most people won't admit it, but having a crush or even a more serious feeling toward a cousin when you're young is not really all that uncommon. One of my sisters had it bad for one of our cousins and even though I never felt anything but friendship towards him, I would said he was hot, too. But just because you have those feelings doesn't mean you can act on it. Not only is it illegal to marry a first cousin (USA), but most people are going to have a very negative reaction to cousins dating, even. You need to make an effort to find someone else that you can date and possibly fall in love with. It may not feel like it now, but it is possible to find more than one "true love". Don't kill yourself over this, please. Think about how your family, your mom and dad, will feel if you do. It would make your cousin feel like cr*p, too. Don't put them thur all that. As for your cousin not seeing you in a month, I bet if you just act like a normal guy friend to her and give her time she'll go back to seeing you again.